this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
