the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
