8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think I sprained my soul last night
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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