Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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