I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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