I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
