I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
