Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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