last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
