I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
