Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I am one with the molecules
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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