I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
