Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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