Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
