Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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