Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
