Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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