I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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