I just cut my nipple shaving
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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