Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize