Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
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