i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
