You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
