If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
