you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
