I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize