put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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