If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just had sex bonerless
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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