This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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