i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
