3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize