HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
