it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
