yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
