that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
