Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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