Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
