is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
