Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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