Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize