He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize