it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
