I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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