I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
