I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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