Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
