If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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