why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
