VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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