Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
