Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
