Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
