guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize