You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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