Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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