Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
