Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
