We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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