Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
