I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The struggles of a small town man whore
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
